introduction: what's really in my control? (and how can i do it justice?)

("sometimes, when you stop forcing things, you create space for them to unfold… divinely!")

when i left big 4 consulting to build builtwithhabit, i genuinely believed that if i was disciplined enough, worked hard enough and powered through enough, with sheer willpower… things would automatically fall into place. spoiler: sometimes, there’s more to the equation!

i’m building a business that depends on global supply chains, specialised machinery, external partners across four time zones and timelines i don’t directly manage. don’t get me wrong: i’m up for the challenge (most of the time)! but it’s also forced me to get super honest about what’s actually within my realm of control… and what isn’t. over the past few months, i’ve kind of found myself falling short in the areas i can influence, while trying too hard to manipulate the things i can’t.

ironically, the more i try to “control everything,” the more i’m reminded that my real leverage sits in a smaller (but infinitely more meaningful) arena: the way i show up. there’s this concept in spiritual philosophy - the law of detachment - that describes the art of pursuing your goals without attaching to the outcome so fiercely that the journey loses its intrinsic value and beauty. it’s not about inaction or passivity; it’s about acceptance. sometimes, when you stop forcing things, you create space for them to unfold… divinely.

eight months into building bwh full-time, these are the lessons that grounded me most: what’s firmly in my hands… and what i’ve had to make peace with surrendering.

what i can control: my inner world and inputs

(there is A LOT that truly is in our realm of control - from your persistence to your authenticity and from your mindset to your strategic priorities!)

these are the parts of the process i can pour my whole heart into - consistently, quietly and self-sufficiently!

→ the quality of my work

the depth of my research, the questions i ask, the effort i make to understand fibers, chemistry, dyeing, knitting machines, certifications, costing models: that ownership is mine. i don’t need to be the expert in every domain (that’s what specialists are for and i have an incredibly-skilled team to lean on!) but i do need to understand my business end-to-end. i can outsource execution; i can’t outsource the underlying logic.

→ my consistency

i can’t guarantee outcomes but i can guarantee effort. showing up when it’s slow, unglamorous or mentally-heavy. committing to learning, upskilling, writing, expressing, designing and storytelling - day in and day out!

→ the energy + authenticity i bring

people can feel intention from a mile away! they can sense when something is done from a place of alignment rather than pretense. staying connected to my “why,” speaking honestly about the process and letting my values guide decisions keeps the brand human. i value building a brand that is thoughtful, rigorous, intentional - and that has to shine through, in everything i do!

→ my mindset

the way i talk to myself when things get hard or confusing is everything. mindset is the difference between spiralling into “nothing is working” and recognising “i just don’t have all the puzzle pieces yet.” this is something i’m actively working on. i’m definitely my own harshest critic - as we all tend to be - but i'm trying to be more deliberate about shutting down the negative self-talk when it creeps in and reframing my limiting beliefs (shoutout to everyone for their incredible pep talks iykyk, you're so, so appreciated!).

→ what i choose to prioritise

my time is one of the only things that’s truly mine. where i allocate it - strategy, learning, building, ops, outreach, rest - totally shapes the direction of the brand!

→ the way i communicate

communication is 80% of the founder-vendor relationship. following up kindly (but firmly), documenting everything, clarifying expectations, asking precise questions - this is the scaffolding that prevents costly mistakes, down the line.

→ my boundaries

protecting my energy without isolating myself >> staying close to people who want to see me win (and vice versa)! being honest about what drains me versus expands me. i deeply value community and collectivism… but i also believe in spiritual hygiene. it’s important to be discerning about the people you let into your inner world because they shape your: mindset, ambitions, habits and emotions. it can be intimidating to do this audit; it feels impersonal and clinical - but some relationships and friendships are seasonal and that’s okay!

→ how adaptable i am

this is perhaps the hardest part to master: emotional regulation. plans will fall through. shipments will be late. testing will need retakes. yarn lots will go out of stock overnight. what is in my control is how i respond: do i problem-shift, restructure or spiral? “given reality, what’s plan B… and C?” i heard something leila hormozi said recently: “most people don’t fail because they don’t have what it takes to win but because their emotions convince them that they’ve already lost.” that hit. these things often feel catastrophic in the moment but they’re actually just building: (a) your capacity to hold adversity and (b) your resilience to stay at it, in spite of it!

→ the values i build on

quality > speed. ethics > shortcuts. depth > virality. getting radically-clear on guiding principles like these has helped me make decisions that actually align with the brand i’m trying to build. also, i'm really trying to reprogram my deep-rooted fear of being seen and perceived: part of this 'values' piece is also about being able to network, engage publicly, and champion what you believe in... loudly and proudly!

→ my willingness to learn

every conversation, every mistake, every expert interview teaches me something: see everyone as a guru! staying a student of fiber science, sustainability, operations, marketing, human psychology - i truly believe that’s my biggest competitive advantage. curiosity keeps us agile; the moment you stop learning, your business stops evolving. 

what i can’t control: the external reality and outputs

(this is the flip-side of the coin: there are things that are definitely not in our hands. but this is good too (!): by distinguishing intentionally, we can put our time and energy into the 'right' places!)

these are the parts of the journey that remain outside my hands - no matter how prepared, organised or disciplined i am!

→ vendor responsiveness

different languages, cultural norms, time zones, internal processes. sometimes, all the systems are in place… but patience is the only strategy you can fall back on.

→ administrative + logistical timelines

yarn shipments, machine availability, customs checks, courier delays - they all run on their own clock!

→ manufacturing timelines

sampling, programming and calibrating machines, running tests/ quality checks, making adjustments - nothing good comes from rushing this! it’s better to do your due diligence early on… far before production scales.

→ certification + lab testing

sgs, intertek, oeko-tex: these testing labs have strict protocols and they will move at the pace that their services require. 

→ market conditions

global politics (and tariffs!), economic downturns, currency swings, supply chain disruptions, shipping rates - all entirely outside my influence.

→ algorithm behaviour

i can choose what i post (and ensure that it is representative of who i am and the brand i’m building). i can’t choose who sees it, how it performs or what goes viral. analytics are lowkey a black box…

→ how people perceive me

whether someone thinks i’m too naive, too intense, too public, too much or not enough - that usually reflects their reality far more than it does mine. people project from their own hurt, doubt and insecurity.

→ other people’s expectations

people will always have opinions but i'm firmly believe: “don't take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with!” ultimately, i have to make decisions based on what feels intelligent, aligned and sustainable for me.

→ competitor behaviour

what they release, how fast they launch, how they price, how they market - i can observe, learn (a lot!) and appreciate… but not replicate.

→ timing + serendipity

the opportunities that land, the people who unexpectedly discover my work, the moments that become turning points: those tend to choose you, not the other way around. sometimes you’re simply in the right place, at the right moment!

the space between the two: where growth actually happens

(the true synergy comes from how these two set of variables co-exist, harmoniously!)

building a brand has taught me that maturity is knowing the difference between: what requires discipline, what requires patience and what simply requires surrender. the more i cling to what i can’t control, the heavier everything feels. the more i anchor into what i can control, the clearer and more meaningful the work becomes!

this isn’t just a founder lesson: it’s a human one! anyone building anything, whether it’s a dream, career, relationship or lifestyle, faces the same equation - inputs vs. outcomes: and learning to trust the space between the two.

what i'm trying to internalise now!

(this is obviously an ongoing goal of mine - will surely be reading... and re-reading this post hehe!)

i can’t bend supply chains, timelines or algorithms.

but i can build something with integrity.
i can keep showing up with intention.
i can learn faster than i did yesterday.
i can honour the version of me who first chose this path for myself - terrified but determined.

i can: build with habit!

… and i think that’s enough to build something beautiful.